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24 July 2008 @ 09:06 pm
I may jump off a cliff
24 July 2008 @ 06:49 pm
Hey All...
I'm new to this community (and to livejournal in general, excuse my misuse of technology... heh).
I guess I'll just start by giving my stats (GROSS GROSS GROSS), or what I think they are, because I usually try to avoid scales... But as far as like a week ago...
Height: 5'4.5
CW: 124
HW: ONE FIFTY <-ew
LW: 114
GW1: 117
GW2: 111
UGW: ~105
I am just recovering from a loss of willpower (what most people would refer to as "recovery" and I've never felt so fat and gross in my life. I hate the feeling I get from eating. =(
I do exercise a lot, but I'm such a bad binger!!!
So... nice to meet you guys...
I guess I'll just start by giving my stats (GROSS GROSS GROSS), or what I think they are, because I usually try to avoid scales... But as far as like a week ago...
Height: 5'4.5
CW: 124
HW: ONE FIFTY <-ew
LW: 114
GW1: 117
GW2: 111
UGW: ~105
I am just recovering from a loss of willpower (what most people would refer to as "recovery" and I've never felt so fat and gross in my life. I hate the feeling I get from eating. =(
I do exercise a lot, but I'm such a bad binger!!!
So... nice to meet you guys...
Current Mood: 
awake
awake24 July 2008 @ 03:46 pm
I want to look JUST like this
24 July 2008 @ 08:41 pm
24 July 2008 @ 08:27 pm
How can raw peas be so many calories?? GRRRR
I did SOOOO good today, or I thought so! I didnt eat anything ALL day until I got home (YAY I have a scale now) and I had a bowl of raw peas. I figured they couldn't be more than 80 cals...hell no! I just looked it up and it said 117 per cup. GREAT, I had about 2 1/2 cups worth. I'm soooooo mad! NOTHING tomorrow, except I might make myself a diet root beer slushie...ZERO cals! YAY!
THIN THIN THIN....
THIN THIN THIN....
24 July 2008 @ 05:57 pm
New Recipe
GrapeFruit Raspberry Sparkler :) Sounds delish! Serves 4
Prep time 10 mins
Total time 10 mins
What youl need-1 cup fresh raspberries or unsweetened frozen raspberrys thawed
1&1/4 cups grape fruit juice
3 tablespoons splenda
1&1/3 cups diet lemon lime soda
What to do-
Process raspberries grapefruit juice and splenda in a blender until smooth press mixture through a sieve into a pitcher,discard solids
fill cups with ice and pour about 1/2 cup of raspberry mixture into each cup add 1/3 soda to each cup-serve immidietly
Nutrition facts:per serving) cals-45,no fats,1g protein,carbs,11g,fiber 2g,soduim 10mg,suger 8g
________________________________________
http://www.self.com/health/recipes
..♥
Prep time 10 mins
Total time 10 mins
What youl need-1 cup fresh raspberries or unsweetened frozen raspberrys thawed
1&1/4 cups grape fruit juice
3 tablespoons splenda
1&1/3 cups diet lemon lime soda
What to do-
Process raspberries grapefruit juice and splenda in a blender until smooth press mixture through a sieve into a pitcher,discard solids
fill cups with ice and pour about 1/2 cup of raspberry mixture into each cup add 1/3 soda to each cup-serve immidietly
Nutrition facts:per serving) cals-45,no fats,1g protein,carbs,11g,fiber 2g,soduim 10mg,suger 8g
________________________________________
http://www.self.com/health/recipes
..♥
24 July 2008 @ 07:56 pm
60 Lara Stone Icons
24 July 2008 @ 08:42 pm
tiny ladies
( uh huh oh yeah )
dudes, I just went to a spinning class for the first time. INTENSE! I loved it. Also now, I believe I have a bruised vagina. I hate bike seats.
TODAY:
-1 piece friend chicken (oh lordy)
-1 veggie publix sandwich
-2 bottles of water (so far)
-2 shot glasses of yogurt-y tasting drink
HOW IS EVERYBODY FEELING? THIS REQUIRES CONSTANT EFFORT. JUST DON'T RETREAT MORE THAN YOU ALREADY HAVE. I'M NOT THAT HEALTHY.
dudes, I just went to a spinning class for the first time. INTENSE! I loved it. Also now, I believe I have a bruised vagina. I hate bike seats.
TODAY:
-1 piece friend chicken (oh lordy)
-1 veggie publix sandwich
-2 bottles of water (so far)
-2 shot glasses of yogurt-y tasting drink
HOW IS EVERYBODY FEELING? THIS REQUIRES CONSTANT EFFORT. JUST DON'T RETREAT MORE THAN YOU ALREADY HAVE. I'M NOT THAT HEALTHY.
24 July 2008 @ 08:45 pm
Sorry for posting again, but i really need supporyt = [ = [
HELPPPPPPPPPPPPP = ' [
Current Mood: 
depressed
depressed24 July 2008 @ 08:31 pm
Today was a success (so far).
It's only 8:31pm but I dont usually eat at night, so I dont think i'm going to binge.
I might eat some soup in a bit which is about 100 calories.
I ate oatmeal (160 cals.), scrambled egg whites (40 cals), and some fruit (60 cals.)
That puts me at a total of 260, or 360 with the soup im going to eat.
I cleaned the kitchen for an hour, I went shopping earlier, and i'm going to do some laundry so i'm pretty sure I burned all that off.
Earlier when I went grocery shopping, I got all sorts of goodies.
Fruits and veggies, soup, and diet lipton raspberry white tea.
I got tonssss of fruits and veggies.
What i'm going to do is cut up some fruits and vegetables and put them in containers.
Then whenever i feel hungry, i'll eat the fruits and vegetables without ranch like I usually do.
I'm really determined to lose this weight.
I want to do the no flour, no sugar diet.
That means no sweets, bread, pasta, etc.
Only fruits, vegetables, and soup for me!
It's only 8:31pm but I dont usually eat at night, so I dont think i'm going to binge.
I might eat some soup in a bit which is about 100 calories.
I ate oatmeal (160 cals.), scrambled egg whites (40 cals), and some fruit (60 cals.)
That puts me at a total of 260, or 360 with the soup im going to eat.
I cleaned the kitchen for an hour, I went shopping earlier, and i'm going to do some laundry so i'm pretty sure I burned all that off.
Earlier when I went grocery shopping, I got all sorts of goodies.
Fruits and veggies, soup, and diet lipton raspberry white tea.
I got tonssss of fruits and veggies.
What i'm going to do is cut up some fruits and vegetables and put them in containers.
Then whenever i feel hungry, i'll eat the fruits and vegetables without ranch like I usually do.
I'm really determined to lose this weight.
I want to do the no flour, no sugar diet.
That means no sweets, bread, pasta, etc.
Only fruits, vegetables, and soup for me!
25 July 2008 @ 01:24 am
Fasty Wasty
awake24 July 2008 @ 08:34 pm
ugh
24 July 2008 @ 06:22 pm
A few questions!
1) Do any of you find that the elliptical does NO GOOD? I don't feel like I got a work out at all and have been gaining weight since I switched gyms (my old gym had a kick ass recumbent bike I used daily, the new gym has a TON of cardio shit, but not the recumbent). I feel like it's about as effective as walking (which has the "no effect" feeling on me, too).
2) For those that watch calories (in a relatively healthy manner), did any of you start going to the gym and up your caloric intake slightly, only to find that since you eat way more now and are a lot hungrier? I started going to the gym about 5 months ago, and started calorie-counting about 4 months prior to that, and I think I ate healthier/better BEFORE I started working out. I give myself permission to eat poorly way too often now, maybe because I think I can "work off the excess calories" (which I used to, at the old gym).
3) Anyone here count calories (and eat at least 1000/day)? Or...anyone in their early 20s? Or...anyone here a big fan of Japanese culture (including Bento Boxes)? I'm going to try and start doing bento lunches again for portion control. And if anyone here keeps track of everything in their LJ, add me!
1) Do any of you find that the elliptical does NO GOOD? I don't feel like I got a work out at all and have been gaining weight since I switched gyms (my old gym had a kick ass recumbent bike I used daily, the new gym has a TON of cardio shit, but not the recumbent). I feel like it's about as effective as walking (which has the "no effect" feeling on me, too).
2) For those that watch calories (in a relatively healthy manner), did any of you start going to the gym and up your caloric intake slightly, only to find that since you eat way more now and are a lot hungrier? I started going to the gym about 5 months ago, and started calorie-counting about 4 months prior to that, and I think I ate healthier/better BEFORE I started working out. I give myself permission to eat poorly way too often now, maybe because I think I can "work off the excess calories" (which I used to, at the old gym).
3) Anyone here count calories (and eat at least 1000/day)? Or...anyone in their early 20s? Or...anyone here a big fan of Japanese culture (including Bento Boxes)? I'm going to try and start doing bento lunches again for portion control. And if anyone here keeps track of everything in their LJ, add me!
25 July 2008 @ 01:19 am
distressed24 July 2008 @ 06:51 pm
Originals please
1:http://i35.tinypic.com/ir2b9j.png ; 2:http://i37.tinypic.com/15wkt1i.png ;
3:http://i38.tinypic.com/jktvts.png ; 4:http://i36.tinypic.com/25iqe88.png
5:http://i33.tinypic.com/snjwjp.png ; 6:http://i34.tinypic.com/2lbeyv7.png
7:http://i33.tinypic.com/2cf4hf6.png ; 8:http://i37.tinypic.com/11vtrow.png
9:http://i34.tinypic.com/2itpts7.png
please help :)
CREDIT: NUMEROLOGIE
3:http://i38.tinypic.com/jktvts.png ; 4:http://i36.tinypic.com/25iqe88.png
5:http://i33.tinypic.com/snjwjp.png ; 6:http://i34.tinypic.com/2lbeyv7.png
7:http://i33.tinypic.com/2cf4hf6.png ; 8:http://i37.tinypic.com/11vtrow.png
9:http://i34.tinypic.com/2itpts7.png
please help :)
CREDIT: NUMEROLOGIE
24 July 2008 @ 06:51 pm
Originals please
1:http://i35.tinypic.com/ir2b9j.png ; 2:http://i37.tinypic.com/15wkt1i.png ;
3:http://i38.tinypic.com/jktvts.png ; 4:http://i36.tinypic.com/25iqe88.png
5:http://i33.tinypic.com/snjwjp.png ; 6:http://i34.tinypic.com/2lbeyv7.png
7:http://i33.tinypic.com/2cf4hf6.png ; 8:http://i37.tinypic.com/11vtrow.png
9:http://i34.tinypic.com/2itpts7.png
please help :)
3:http://i38.tinypic.com/jktvts.png ; 4:http://i36.tinypic.com/25iqe88.png
5:http://i33.tinypic.com/snjwjp.png ; 6:http://i34.tinypic.com/2lbeyv7.png
7:http://i33.tinypic.com/2cf4hf6.png ; 8:http://i37.tinypic.com/11vtrow.png
9:http://i34.tinypic.com/2itpts7.png
please help :)
24 July 2008 @ 07:58 pm
so i just wanted to eat one yogurt again today but that didnt happen. i dont know why. i was mad, at my boyfriend for a dumb reason. so i guess i ate. so tomorrow im fasting. it wasnt a big binge though. since my boyfriend has been on lockdown after that whole spain situation, he will be allowed out after sunday, THANKGOD. ahhh =] cant wait. but anyways, im slowly getting back on track, but everytime i look at my body in the mirror im like disgusted. gosh. but i recently put a picture of my idol in my car as thinspiration and im keeping pictures in my day planner because i bring that everywhere with me. so hopefully that will help me. im gonna add more pictures too the wall in my room, its definitely time for an update. so i think im gonna do that tomorrow. or tonight, we'll see. but im definitely gonna keep my head up and stay positive, thats the only way its gonna work right?
stay strong girls<3 love you all
stay strong girls<3 love you all
24 July 2008 @ 07:47 pm
i miss the seventh grade
i keep asking myself what the hell happened. why am i like this today struggling and striving and loving the idea of hitting the 86 pound mark because THAT is what I was in the 7th grade. when i was in a bathing suit, people told me i was so small.
i guess i just grew. and i ate regularly. until last december, where i "realized" i needed to act.
or, i was too confident. i was a normal weight last year, and i thought i was still really skinny. but i wasnt the skinniest. and i realized that and i hated it and im the monster i am today and i pushed people away to try and focus on it. luckily, ive been able to take some people back, but the ones i havent taken back are the ones i made a final decision about, to push away forever.
i want to ask my mom so badly if she had an eating disorder, and if its genetics, but she wouldnt answer or she would look at me like i just asked her how to kill myself or something. she was small. she toldme she went to burger king and ate big macs for lunch during high school. she was small. what if she had a really fast metabolism?
maybe it was puberty. i forgot whatever i learned in health last august-november. isnt it like you gain a bit, or possibly a lot, during puberty? because your body is changing? i dont know. i dont even want to know
god i want the 86 pounds so badly. im really fucking hoping ill be there in 3 weeks. i could do it, i bet im too scared.
i hope everyone is doing ok.
does anyone have a history of eating disorders in their family(ies)?
i guess i just grew. and i ate regularly. until last december, where i "realized" i needed to act.
or, i was too confident. i was a normal weight last year, and i thought i was still really skinny. but i wasnt the skinniest. and i realized that and i hated it and im the monster i am today and i pushed people away to try and focus on it. luckily, ive been able to take some people back, but the ones i havent taken back are the ones i made a final decision about, to push away forever.
i want to ask my mom so badly if she had an eating disorder, and if its genetics, but she wouldnt answer or she would look at me like i just asked her how to kill myself or something. she was small. she toldme she went to burger king and ate big macs for lunch during high school. she was small. what if she had a really fast metabolism?
maybe it was puberty. i forgot whatever i learned in health last august-november. isnt it like you gain a bit, or possibly a lot, during puberty? because your body is changing? i dont know. i dont even want to know
god i want the 86 pounds so badly. im really fucking hoping ill be there in 3 weeks. i could do it, i bet im too scared.
i hope everyone is doing ok.
does anyone have a history of eating disorders in their family(ies)?
24 July 2008 @ 08:26 pm